Aqua Q Does Jokes

 i put some mints near my window.. they were pre-screened

I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows bob sacamano

I'm working some of the times.. but those times are in the past

I wanted to find the whole me... so I looked in the middle

hey, that's my material man.... what are you, materialistic?

I saw a light on in the bathroom.. but it was in somebody elses apartment

man, binoculars are expensive

I thought I had it all.. but I just ran out

now I can't do laundry

could we possibly? absolutely.

existence can't happen till it happens.. the only exception is bullshit preceeding the bull in a china shop

I closed all my browser tabs to save memory.. but now I can't remember anything

I wanted some mindless entertainment... but I paid too much attention.. and now I'm broke

I deleted my browser history because it was a text-book case

it said, 'are you sure?', and I said.. 'you're history'

i smoked weed that had no expiration date, and now I'm like this permanently

if the sky was falling, which way's up?

if I see you eye-to-eye, can either of us see anything else?

I got a comforter. its more comfortable than me

beer comes in cans and bottles.. ... that's gross.

I got a notification in the mail today.. it said 'please check your mail'

I sent a thank you card, but I havn't mailed it

'beer nuts' sure have got balls, to sell a product that contains no beer

I like to stretch rubberbands.. they need the excercise

I'm hearing impaired.. but only when I'm not listening

I built the perfect chair, but it was uncomfortable

I have a moral compass app on my phone, but I need to keep recharging it

'the only thing to fear is fear' itself... isn't that a double whammy? I'm already afraid!

isn't settling up contradictory?

(motions the handing money into the sky)

when all is lost, you find everything.

message in a bottle reads, "help yourself"

i lost a small package.. not a huge problem

I tried to sleep, but I got tired

I wrote a bit that killed.. it was underscored in chalk

I appreviated 'doing well' to d'well .. and now I can't stop thinking about it

when your past catches up with you you're at a stand-still

I tried to take pause, and now we're in reruns

I tried to compare then and now, and now its later

I have odd times every other so-often

i used to be really good, but their was a mixup and now I'm just good.. really

i once was alone, but now I'm 2 loans

I have a car.. but it drives me crazy

i tried to deliver a joke, but they sent it back.  now I have to write it all over again

I have 'indoor cat' food.. but I keep it outside

diet coke needs to improve their self image

I bought something new yesterday, and today I returned it for false advertising

my faucet is hard to predict.. it runs hot&cold

I had a time window .. but now I'm of time and its just a window

you've been a mild and peppered audience, you really have, I can hear you from here, martha.

thanks and good night, this is aqua q